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The Lollipop of Mediocrity

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HELLO Kitty Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 07:13 am

Well Hello There Kitty...
Well Hello There Kitty...

Welcome back, Jess!

Mood: mischievousmischievous

A Full Meal Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 10:18 pm

I know this is cruel, but I couldn't resist.
A Full Meal

Mood: deviousdevious
Tunes: The Red Sox Game

And The Winner Is... Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 09:49 pm
Sadly, I Want To Be a Hilton has come to an end.
After a grueling competition it was dwindled down from fourteen trashy contestants to only three: Jaret, Vanessa, and Jackaay. For this final episode Kathy decided that instead of a competition she would meet with each person individually to try to learn more about them as a person. They were each told to pick wherever they wanted to take Kathy to show her a little more about themselves. Jaret went first. He took Kathy to the Chelsea Piers where they walked around the track at the gymnasium and Jaret explained to Kathy how he wanted to get his life "on track." I know, you could puke at how cute that is; just wait. Then they sat down for a chat and Jaret told Kathy how he likes to write poetry. He recited her a poem he had written about his grandfather who had raised him; it was about death and love and he had her in tears. Jackaay took Kathy to an art gallery - why, I'm not really sure. They then spoke about Jackaay's upbringing and she broke into tears when talking about her hard childhood, her parents' divorce, and raising her little sister in the absence of parents. A bunch of crybabies, if you ask me. Last, Vanessa took Kathy to lunch at a random restaurant. Since she works in a bar she thought she would take Kathy to her world. As if. They had a good talk where Kathy told Vanessa how impressed she was with her and there was a lot of mutual love but thank god, no crying.
They all had an afternoon of exercise with private trainers and then met Kathy for dinner. At dinner she talked to them all and then asked Jaret and Jackaay to leave the table. Once they had gone outside Kathy gave Vanessa the boot. She said she was looking for the person who had learned the most and changed the most and that both Jaret and Jackaay had come further than Vanessa. Buh Bye. When Kathy met up with the two remaining, she told them about Vanessa and that as a final competition there would be a dinner party filled with "important" people and at this dinner they would each have to give a speech about their experiences on the show. The person who gave the best, most compelling speech, combined with their other achievements thus far, would be the winner.
Public speaking coaches and professional speech-writers were brought in to help the remaining contestants and then she sent them to swanky salons and stylists to get ready for their big night. In addition to Kathy's version of New York "society" the dinner was also attended by the other team members. As they entered they gave their opinions about who should win and they were pretty split between the two. Jackaay spoke first and her speech was really good. Her diction was great, she spoke slowly and clearly, and her speech was funny and interesting. She was a tough act to follow. Jaret followed with a rather boring, simpleton speech riddled with poor grammar and his unforgiving twang. It was pretty clear who the winner would be. But since this was TV, and they had to add as much drama as possible, Kathy excused herself from the party to go and make the final decision.
When she returned, Kathy announced the winner: Jaret.
I was fucking floored. While I think he's a cutie, I wanted him to win more because I'd love to rip his clothes off him and fuck him, than because he actually deserved it. The only reason Jaret made it to the end is because he was on the team that kept winning each week so he never had to face Kathy in an elimination. He really didn't do anything all that well or contribute all that much. Jackaay really did change the most and she worked her ass off. Not that this has anything to do with "real" society but if it did, Jackaay could probably hold her own while Jaret would get chewed up and spit out in the first ten seconds. Oh well. What can you do? Jaret won a luxury apartment for a year furnished by Domain, diamond cuff links, all sorts of luxury products (grooming, etc.), some club, opera, and museum memberships, and $200K cash. Not bad.
Bye Kathy! I hope the show comes back next season, but I highly doubt it.
Mood: sadsad

Today's Lesson Brought To Us By The Letter W Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 06:48 pm

Today's Lesson Brought To Us By The Letter W

Mood: distresseddistressed
Tunes: Tears for Fears

Batman & Robin Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 08:11 pm
Batman and Robin have always been my favorite superheroes. I don't collect them or anything, but enjoy running across them every now and then. Artist Mark Chamberlain has taken his interpretaion of the dynamic duo to a whole new level; a hot level.
Mood: artisticartistic
Tunes: Rufus Wainwright

Flight of the Penguin Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 07:43 pm
For those who enjoyed spanking the monkey, here is another - albeit slightly more brutal - site to test your smacking skills: club the penguin.
Mood: satisfiedsatisfied

Edu-ma-cation Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 08:52 am

Mood: tiredtired

Busted Aug. 6th, 2005 @ 07:29 pm
This is just awful, and I know I'll go to hell, but hopefully it'll be a nice section of hell, because this is so funny.
Mood: amusedamused
Tunes: eddie murphy raw

Muslim BK? Aug. 5th, 2005 @ 04:22 pm
Okay, I understand Jewish delicatessens, sushi bars, and Indian restaurants, but Muslim Burger King? What?
What exactly makes a Burger King a Muslim Burger King you ask? Well, evidently if your beef and chicken burgers are halal, and if your waitresses wear head scarves, that makes your BK Muslim.
So by that same token, if I buy a BK franchise and wear a yarmulke and close on Saturday's will it be a Jewish Burger King?
Mood: confusedconfused

Stupid People Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 09:44 am

I know I'm not perfect but...
I love Stupid people. Without them life would not be nearly as much fun.

Mood: amusedamused
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